Meeting My Venus

Project #2: Let's Get Personal
Manual: AC - Storytelling
Sep 25, 2009

Since mid of 2003, two of my girl friends urged me to marry. As I was in U.S I was able to avoid them for quite a while. One was my Mom and other one was my Gradma. My mom jumped into search and literally contacted all possible sources for a match, but for some reason or other none worked out. I was "happy" about it, as I thought that wedding and children would load me with more responsibilities and I may not be able to achieve my goals in my life. Well, there was a saying that happiness doesn't last forever.

It was November 2004. I left to India for my sister's wedding. Since I was physically there my mom started prodding me. I was able to manager for first couple of days. On third day, when I woke up I saw my uncle discussing with my parents. He had brought a horoscope of his friend's daughter. Now, I had to face the situation head on. I told that I am not interested. But my mom insisted and this time my dad also joined the other side. My mom threatened me that I won't see her, if I don't agree to the wedding. I said "Well, you won't see me, if you force me." As the debate heated, my uncle told that first let's see the horoscope and if there is a match, then we can discuss about it later. I was relieved. But the relief didn't last long. Yes, the horoscope met the minimum criteria for the match. The debate started again and this to me around my dad asked me to go and see the girl. "If you don't like, then we are not gonna force you." He also said that just my uncle and I can go and see. That sounded fair to me.

That evening I went with uncle. The girl's mom served juice to us and my uncle went inside to explore their house. In no time, I drank the juice and I was all alone in the hall. Each second seemed too long. I decided, what the heck and went inside to look for my uncle. When I passed the dining room, I saw a girl 5 feet 2 inches standing in Indian casual dress. During bachelor days I used to watch lot of movies. In all those movies the girl would be dressed up in our traditional dress, which is a "Saree." So, I thought this would be a maid. I asked her where my uncle is? She just pointed me to the room and I found my uncle there.

Few moments later, we departed their place. I was shy to ask "Where is the girl?" because all along I have been opposing the wedding. On the way my uncle asked, "Did you like the girl?" I was like "Are you kidding? You folks were busy discussing other matter and didn't even bother to show the girl to me." He said that the one whom I saw in the dining room was the "girl." Well, now I can't even tell that I didn't like the girl, because I didn't even see her properly. Now, I need to prepare for round two. That night I quickly composed a questionnaire and called my best friends to do a group review. At last I finalized the questions. I had so many questions that I spoke on the phone, no no interviewed, for 45 plus minutes to cover all the questions. After the interview, my mom asked me whether I like the girl now? I told that I am undecided. She said without liking her, why did you speak for so long? Well, I didn't know the rules. Then I confessed that "I didn't see her properly when I met her. So I can't make the decision."

On the day of my sisters wedding my relatives arranged for a formal session. Now, this is the final round folks. I saw the girl my good part told me to go for it. My evil part keep on warning me. After all these, I was undecided and confused. I couldn't say that I don't like her and at the same time couldn't say I am ready for wedding as well. The battle between good and evil began. Well, you know folks than in the end good always triumph the evil. I got married to a wonderful woman, Vidhya, and we are living happily there after.

The Three Wishes

Project #1: The Folk Tale
Manual: AC - Storytelling
Aug 14, 2009

Once upon a time there lived a poor man who had a pretty wife. They were so poor that they had hardly enough to eat and hardly enough wood to make a fire. But one winter evening, the man found a shiny brass coal scuttle, piled high with coal by the door. He thought that must a gift from divine and brought it to his wife. She loved it and they both decided to at least have a good blaze that night.

As soon as they sat down to warm themselves, wife began her usual talk about the neighbors. “They are happier than we are only because they are richer,” said the wife. She wished that they could meet a fairy, who would grant “A” wish, then they would be happier and richer than all of them. No sooner the man concurred with her, a lightning stuck on their fireplace and a fairy appeared before them. Fairy flapped her wings, winker her eyes innocently and offered to grant a wish they desired for. But the wife greedily asked, “Three would be better.” Fairy smiled skillfully, granted just three wishes and she vanished away.

The man and his wife were delighted and settled down to decide what to wish for. His wife thought that an embroidered silk purse, full of gold would be a better wish. “What a silly wish,” said her husband. “Why one, you could wish for ten silk purses, 20, or even a hundred. But what use would they be to you if you were sick? It would be much better to wish for health, happiness, and a long life.”

Wife argued back that a long life would be horrible, if they remain poor. She told that fairy should have granted a dozen wishes; so that they could have everything they want. Her husband nodded and suggested that if they take time and think carefully, then they could make the most of the three wishes. They decided to think through all night and make the wishes next day.

The cold got bitter, so she poked the fire until it flared up nicely to warm them. Soon her stomach rumbled with hunger. She sighed, and without thinking, wished they had a length of sausage to cook for their supper. She had hardly said these words when a length of sausage, more than enough for two, came down the chimney. Her husband was furious with her foolish act. He shouted that she wasted a good wish for a sausage. He wished that ridiculous sausage got fastened to the end of her nose.

He soon felt sorry, but the sausage jumped immediately and stuck fast on the end of his pretty wife’s nose. The wife wailed in disgrace and they tried to separate the sausage from the nose. Her husband gave it a pull but it stuck. She gave it a pull but it stuck. They both pulled so hard that they nearly pulled her nose off, but it was really really stuck.

His wife cried in plan and the man apologized again. He asked whether he should after all wish for the silk purse to hide the sausage. She asked how she could hide the sausage dangling from the end of her nose with a silk purse. She wished that the sausage would drop off. The very instance, the sausage dropped off the nose and fell to the floor.

“There goes our last wish,” groaned her husband. His wife sobbed as well. Then they sat down and thought for a while, until at last they came to their senses. They asked for too much and the fairy has punished them appropriately. From then on they decided to count their blessings. They were glad that they had a scuttle half full of coal and a sausage. Which was more than they had to begin with. They decided to cook that delicious sausage for their supper and enjoy it by the warm fire.

Fellow Toastmasters, like the man and his wife, in certain moments we too forget to count our blessings. Instead, we spend our time and energy in worrying about the problems that pop up. Next time, if you worry about the issues at work, then think about the jobless person in this economy. If you complain about the bad weather, then think about the homeless person, who suffers from that bad weather throughout the year. If you fear about public speaking, then think about the person who cannot speak at all in his or her life. Also, think how blessed we are with this wonderful group of TGIF Toastmasters.

My 3 Corporate Lessons

Project #6: Vocal Variety
Manual: Competent Communicator (CC)
Jul 17, 2009

[I repeated this project at TGIF Toastmasters]

Every one of us has or had at least one boss in life: it could be our manager at work or our spouse everywhere else. Bosses at work are typically more experienced and we would have learned something from them that we could make use of in our life journey. I too had few bosses in my career. The three key lessons I learned from three of my bosses are outlined in this speech.

It was my first job after my school. My friends and I always thought that life would get better if we land up in a job and we don’t have to work as hard as we did in school. In those days email is not widespread, so we were thrilled to have email access that helps to communicate with many friends, who are remote. First couple of days, I learned to send and receive emails. Whenever I got bored I also read through few pages of the test tool manual, which I was supposed to complete by end of that week. On the third day, my friends and I got very excited and started bombarding each other’s mailboxes with flurry of emails. I spent the whole day, except for the lunch and restroom breaks in sending and receiving emails. Close to end of the day, I sent almost 220 emails, which is one email every 2 minutes. At the end of the day, my boss called me to his office and asked me “how am I doing with respect to the assignment?” Well, I had read only few pages. So, I stumbled to answer. Before I could open the mouth, he threw other one: “are you playing with emails the whole day?” I was stunned, but recovered soon and told him that I would complete the manual before the deadline. Next day, I focused and gave my 100% on reading the manual. At the end of the day, which was a day ahead of the original deadline, I completed the manual and informed my boss that I am ready for the work. After that, I was never sloppy at work and received outstanding rating in performance appraisal for that period.

This incident taught me the first lesson: Duty first; never loose the sight of it.

My next venture was working for a startup. Well, as usual startup environment was challenging and hectic. I spent countless nights burning midnight oil churning code. Many days, I came home only to sleep. Some days I even slept in office and came home only to take shower. My only goal in life at that time was to make the company successful at any cost. Fortunately, I was single at that time. Otherwise, my wife would have killed me. J Amidst hectic life, I got engaged when I went to India for my sister’s wedding. On return I went to my director to convey the news. My director congratulated me whole-heartedly and told that my life will not be the same. He mentioned: “Sud! There are 30 employees to take care of this company, but you are the only one to take care of your family.” Oh boy! That was an eye-opener for me. From then on, I trimmed my working time close to 8 hours per day and began balancing other activities: family, my MBA, etc.

Well, I learned the second lesson: the importance of work-life balance.

Few months later, I quit startup and joined a midsize company. The new company culture is totally different from the startup and I am glad that I made the switch. Though this experience reinforced quite a few lessons: importance of hiring right people, time management, proactive planning, etc, I learned an important lesson from my manager. Couple of years back we hired a senior person to the team. He was assigned to implement a feature using the framework I have written; hence I was assigned as a feature buddy. That feature was supposed to be completed in less than 3 months, but it dragged on and on, even with all the support and got completed after a year. I was frustrated and went to discuss this with my manager. He said “Look at your hand; are all your fingers look alike? Each one is different, but meant for different function.” On that day, I learned my 3rd lesson that all are not created equal.

The three lessons: duties first; maintain work-life balance; and not all are created equal from my 3 bosses have made my life better than it was before. Thought, I would share these lessons that could be helpful to you as well.

My MBA Journey

Project #5: Your Body Speaks
Manual: Competent Communicator (CC)
Jun 12, 2009

[I repeated this project at TGIF Toastmasters]

Fellow Toastmasters (and welcomed guests) … It’s December 2004; my friend and I were planning to enroll into MBA program at University of Phoenix. I was very excited as doing masters in U.S. has been my long-time dream. I informed my parents about this and they were fine with it. However, few days later my mom called me and asked not to join. I was shocked to hear this from my mom, because she has taught me the significance of education and always encouraged me to study well. I typically heed to “signs” in important activities and decided not to join. My dreams shattered and I was very upset.

Six months later, after my wedding, my mom asked to pursue my MBA. Although the passion still lingered in the back of my mind, I was little reluctant. Few months later when my wife and I were on family way, I thought that I should either complete MBA before my kid goes to school or postpone the dream for another 15 years or so. Given the plans to return back to India in long term, I decided to do it sooner than later and my wife supported that decision as well. This time, I preferred to do the masters in an AACSB accredited university such as SCU or UC Berkeley. Both the schools required GMAT, so I switched gears and started preparing for the same. In the meantime, I attended UC Berkeley’s open house session. As soon as I heard the total cost required, I was out of the session; I didn’t even wait for the session to end. During preparation I realized that I should have listened to my high school English teacher as it was difficult to cram all the intricacies of grammar in 2 months. As a result, I didn’t score well in the verbal part and I had to take TOEFL. Time was running out for the application deadline, I prepared even harder and in 2 weeks I took the TOEFL, scored more than adequate for SCU cut-off, finished up the essays in a day, rushed my application and, finally, I was accepted. I began my first quarter at SCU in spring 2006.

Well, 2 weeks later my wife and I had a pleasant surprise. Yes, our daughter decided to say “Hello, World!” 6 weeks earlier than expected. This is the time my wife’s support reached its pinnacle. She took care of baby and herself such that I don’t have to miss even a class. My parents came a month later to support us and the life was little easier for my wife. My journey progressed smoothly.

Mid way through the program, I had an opportunity to take study abroad course. I visited S Korea, HKG and Shanghai, China, met executives from several multi-national firms, gained business insights and learned about cultures in those places. The 2 week trip was lot of fun, but the bad part was that I got B+ for first time, which made a dent in my overall GPA (due to the overall team performance). This taught me the importance of having a right team and managing expectations.

Moving on, the tail end courses were heavy in work load. I took capstone, the final course of the program, in this spring. Boy! That was really hectic. During that quarter I spent more time with my team members than I saw my family. Many days I didn’t even get a chance to talk to my daughter. The good part is that even after the long absences, my daughter remembered me J
In retrospect, I learned quite a lot in this journey that was fueled by countless hours of work, good chunk of money and unequaled family sacrifices. Well, finally, I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, fellow toastmasters, I am graduating from SCU today and getting off this train. But, with my first speech at TGIF I am beginning a new one …

Mr. Toastmaster …